Things To Stop Doing

The following is taken from "3 Minutes" sent from the The Spence Network

The "Things to Stop Doing" List

Addictions: These are hard to give up as they are deeply ingrained in our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. For whatever reason, they have become a very big part of our lives and we feel stuck in their grip. Some examples are smoking, drinking to excess, drugs, prescribed medications, pornography,food and even sex can become an addiction.

Bad Personal Habits: These are little habits that we have which, in themselves, are not serious, but do annoy others or make them feel uncomfortable. What are yours?

Distracting mannerisms: These are our verbal and non verbal mannerisms that can distract, annoy or make us the brunt of others' jokes. I once heard a guy speak who had a little laugh after nearly all of the statements that he made. It seemed odd when he was talking about poverty in Africa. It made it hard to focus on the content.

Unhelpful interpersonal behaviors: I have to watch that I don't cut people off when they are speaking. I have a lot to say and my mind is often already onto the next thing. This is not helpful when it comes to building stronger relationships. Some people are always complaining or being negative, while others just don't want to talk about anything that involves feelings (often men).

Unhealthy leadership styles: Just because it says leader on your name tag doesn't mean that you are actually leading well. Some leaders are dictatorial while others are so relaxed and disorganized that nothing gets done. Some leaders are harsh while others are too nice and do not make difficult decisions.

Tips on how to stop and change

1. Acknowledge and accept responsibility for your behavior (don't blame your parents for everything).
2. Don't be too hard on yourself (we are only human).
3. Think about how this behavior started and what things are keeping it going, eg. started drinking because of stress at work and continued to drink heavily whenever stressed as it gave some temporary relief.

4. Understand the negative consequences and costs of the behavior.

5. Develop a desire for change.

6. Ask others for help. People who have had training and experience in the area that you are struggling with can help you to change.

7. Create a strategy for change.

8. If you fall back into it try again and again .....
9.Celebrate breaking the cycle and watch out that the behavior doesn't sneak in a later stage.